The Katy Perry Wedding - WEDDING PARTY

Ellie Donald (childhood friend) – Maid of Honour

Ellie and Katy have been friends for over 10 years, so they know each other pretty well by now. In fact, they've bestied so hard that they have the same career and taste in men (massive science nerds). At the wedding, you'll likely see Ellie triple parked with a water, a wine and a coffee but she'll be happy to put her 3 drinks down and spring into maid of honour action at any moment; using her teacher skills to manage all 100 guests and the surrounding farm animals... Much easier than the day job!

Olivia Camilleri (Katy's cousin)

Olivia is both a cat mom and long time toxoplasmosis sufferer, and one of the rare members of Katy's family that enjoy the company of animals (immediate green flag). In fact, it may only be Alan Bates of the Post Office scandal that receives more love and affection off Olivia than her cat, Otto. However, if you see Olivia at the wedding, it is best that you don't mention the Post Office scandal, as her beautifully done mascara will be running down her face in minutes. While her love of animals is immense, if you see Olivia wandering into the hillside, alert the farmer immediately as she has a history of harvesting cow bones to extract the sweet collagen within (supposedly for research, and she is about to embark on her PhD).

Laura Camilleri (Katy's cousin)

Laura's youthful looks means she'll get ID'd at the bar despite being 27, which is one of the main reasons we opted for a self-serve bar. Although, even if she did get refused service, Laura has the wonderful gift of always being right, a drive so strong that even the baldest of bouncers would struggle. Laura also tops the charts in her lateness, even beating Katy, which takes some doing. So, if the bridal party is late on the big day, while cold feet may seem like the most obvious answer when staring at the dispondent groom, it is more likely someone's shower has overrun by half an hour. In all seriousness, Laura has a heart of gold and she'll be a much needed calming presence on the day.

Jessica Perry (Will's sister)

She thinks she's 'ard, but she's as soft as anything - not to mention, she's not won a single wrestling match against Will, yet. Her favourite hobbies include winding up dad, creating drama and taking her car to the garage. However, most often you will find her in a field smelling of horse s***, so you might not recognise her on the wedding day in her fineries. If you are in doubt, if you think you can hear SpongeBob laughing, you know you're heading in the right direction. All that being said, if you need something doing, Jess is your gal!

Joel Hancock (friend from high school) – Best Man

Joel is the proud owner of a fabulous yucca, loves walks that are too long and in the race for the 'best Joel', he won gold. Joel and Will go way back, sharing the same classes in high school, and they've come a long way since. From shotting tequila with Per Vidar Staff in Bergen to almost getting us shot in LA. He may be a mid Bananagram player and he did miss out on attaining his final year of the 26-30 railcard by one day, but putting these things aside, there's no one better placed to be best man than this extremely good egg. He's also forgiven Will for accidentally posting a picture of his genitals on the internet. If that's not friendship, what is? Just remember, if you see Joel offering up shots to Katy, be sure to intervene, as his bad influence has a devastating track record, and Will has the photos to prove it.

James Boyd (friend from high school)

Better known as Boydy, or soup guy, this is a man with a penchant for whale meat, Simpsons memes and is the politest cat you've ever met. When he's not ploughing down koalas in the Australian Outback, he's almost certainly playing video games or planning his next trip to Japan. He's had some tough jobs in his time - from being mauled by dogs while delivering post to the good people of Llanedeyrn to sorting through stolen sweets smuggled in the crotch of Cardiff Central's most prolific characters. However, perhaps his most difficult job to date is having a pink drivers licence in a friendship group full of automobile parasites (especially on 'our' road trip down the east coast of the US)...

Jonathan Cowell (friend from university)

Contrarian, hypochondriac and almost-Nature-published scientist, Jono was the first person that Will met when he moved to Bristol, and like a newly hatched duckling imprinting on the first moving object they see, Will never looked back. Jono had to endure three years of living with Will, which is quite some feat (Katy will happily attest). After one especially long day of pushing everyone’s patience, Jono finally snapped and told Will off - though in a revealing slip, he referred to him as his family dog. Jono’s loving and caring demeanour led to his nickname of “dad”, which is no longer just metaphorical; seeing what an accomplished dad he is now shows just how well the nickname was bestowed.

Ibrahim Yasin (friend from college)

Ib, habibi, is one of those rare things. A good, dependable friend that you can rely on? No! A GP that we actually have access to. Something that cannot be undervalued, given Katy's chronic health anxiety. Ib and Will met in college where they navigated the logos, budding ISIS members and how to integrate quadratic equations to Black And Yellow by Wiz Khalifa. Ib now drives a white Range Rover, which begs the question, "Where did it all go wrong?", but looks could not be more deceiving, given that he is the most humble, genuine soul you can meet. At the very least, he dispenses his drugs legally. As the designated first aider, his face might be one to remember, especially if my dad's fear of anthrax in the field is anything to go by.

Turns out, weddings are expensive! Therefore, we want to thank our parents for the significant contribution from the bank of mum and dad, which has allowed us to realise our perfect day! So, on the day, raise a glass to Maria, David, Cath and Bernard, as they paid for the dinner on your plate and the canvas over your head!